A Brief Tirade on an Appalling Film: Transformers 3

So, perhaps it is appropriate that a blog should begin with a movie review, blogs being the vehicle whereby most people voice both their underdeveloped thoughts about story cohesion and their appreciation of CGI special effects and sex, these two things being combined as frequently as possible. 

Perhaps I should state this fact now, at the beginning of both this post and this blog: it is going to be ripe with judgment and loathing.

Transformers 3 was, by far, the biggest incoherent, appalling, poorly conceived and executed, mentally deficient, insult even the exceptionally and increasingly poor of taste American movie going public, collection of dehumanized, computer-generated "scenes" presenting shockingly thinly-veiled and shallow propaganda ever to be picked at random from a hat and assembled distastefully into an unfortunate "whole" to proceed a series of credits and be passed off as a "movie" I have ever watched. While "movies" in this category are not ever known for their artistic merit, this did not even succeed in presenting special effects and explosions, the most cheap and simple of theatrical thrills, in a way that would even push it up into the category of regret. I would rather be the grass a dog drags its ass on that sit through this film again. It was good to be surprised by the presence of Alan Tudyk, but not even the magical appearance of my personal favorite actor in film today managed to make this pathetic title worth the three hours I wasted watching it. I am actually a worse person for having seen it.